With typical French red wine head I headed into town to Nice to ‘get things sorted’. I drove in and I won’t be doing that again. The highlight of the trip was in a traffic jam pulling up behind another Renault 4!!

As I pulled alongside the slightly battered white ‘Quatrelle’ I tooted and waved. The old boy driving turned, smiled, hooted and waved back. He could only just see over the wheel and must have been 90. Ahhhh the R4 club.

..and I got stuck behind a Renault 4

After parking in Nice Nord where it was free, I walked back the km into town, noticing that there was no dog shit anywhere.

After lots of walking around I decided to make my way back to the car and back home. I waited for rush hour, I thought that would be best, and eventually got to Intermarche 30 minutes later to pick up some essentials before heading back round the corner to Buck House.

After lunch Jean Claude finished the windows

Vin rouge Shato Cheep was on special. 3L wine box reduced from €9.99 to €5.37. I thought I better not pass up the chance so I had one.

I got back and opened it and had a glass. Mmmmmm fruity and a little sweet, just how I like it. Only 2.9 litres to go.

Just before I went to bed I decided a quick trip to the toilet was necessary so off I trotted in the darkness up to the communal toilettes. As I rounded the corner, in the dim light, I kicked what I thought was a small bag of heavy fruit that someone had left on the floor just outside the loos.

“Tut” I went

On closer inspection it was a massive toad I had kicked. I yelped and jumped up in the air and exclaimed out loud…

“It’s a bloody frog”

Ooopppps. Making a habit of putting my foot in it a bit.

This thing was the size of a grapefruit and I watched as it flipped itself off its back and hopped into the bushes from whence it came.

I did my Nº1 and thought of what would have happened if I had stepped on the thing. Would it have burst? Would I have slipped, arse over tit? What if it had hopped into the loo itself and if I had needed a number 2. The horror….

"...Of course I'm still angry, he kicked me!"