It has been a mad dash from start to finish and we haven’t even got to the finish. The morning was spent running around town handing out flyers for The Flamenco extravaganza. My first foray into the world of handing out flyers was quite laughable really. Nervously holding my little blue posters I made my first approach. A tall elegant Russian looking woman. I walked up to her, holding out my flyer…..

“Do you like Flamenco?” I asked

“No” she replied.

Not a good start I thought and I soon learned that when handing out flyers you don’t engage in any conversation, you just hand it to them. I also soon learnt that it’s better if you are walking when you hand out the flyers as opposed to standing still. You walk against the flow and just hand them out and surprisingly enough 95% of people will take them and what amazed me more was the fact the most of them said “Thank you”.

My first efforts weren't too successful

I had soon got rid of them all and had to go back to the bar for more.

Unfortunately the bar owners, where it’s taking place, haven’t got a clue but we will soon have them knocked into shape.

Dogs

I arrived back at the bar to pick up more flyers and met a Spanish couple at the bar. They had bought their two dogs to the bar. One was a 5 month old black Labrador and the other was a ….well I don’t know really, it was the size of a large Jack Russell short hair and only three legs!

I asked them what its name was. They said Trespes…….I laughed my head off.

Translated it means ‘Three feet’.

I picked up a few more flyers and off I went back into town. I didn’t get very far as I saw a couple sitting down outside a bar enjoying a beer in the early evening.

I looked at him and you know when you are not sure if you know that person. You lean forward and squint at them as if they are miles away. It was when he looked back at me with the same squinty face that I knew yes that’s the international call sign confirmation meaning “Yes I am sure I know you”. Well it transpires Pepe was the old manager of Golf Club El Puerto. 

The hat swapping party was a real hit

Well well well. For all those that haven’t read my previous exploits with Golf Club El Puerto, I am still battling, via my solicitor, for them to return my golf club membership, after some despicable behaviour on their part.

After recounting my story his first words were…”It doesn’t surprise me”.  Exactly I thought.

After a couple of beers, I decided that the handing out of flyers was just going to have to wait and we made our way to dinner at a Mexican just around the corner. A couple of hours later and after a jug or two of  Margheritas we wobbled our way back through the side streets back to their car. On our way we passed an older couple accompanied by, what I can only assume was their middle aged daughter wearing a short mini skirt, high heels and was walking two miniature Chihuahuas. The leads were diamond encrusted one pink, one blue, that’s the leads not the Chihuahuas. We stopped for a brief second to examine the dogs.

"Watchoo looking at?"

We made our way back to the main square under which is the car park. The square by this time was very quiet and calm. All three of us were talking loudly, as you do after a few Margheritas, something about Tequila it seems to turn the volume knob up to shout. Well we were talking about a girl they knew that would be interested in a foursome(ed..Oi oi) Golf obviously.

“Better than that tarty woman we just passed with those two idiotic dogs” Pepe said. As he did this he gesticulated with his thumb over his shoulder with a little nod of the head backwards.

Unbeknown to him, the woman with the Chihuahuas had caught us up and was standing about a yard away behind Pepe.

“yap yap” went one of the dogs…right behind Pepe

The expression on Pepe's face was priceless.

Pepe ordering desert