A car is born.........After two months of searching I finally found a car of sorts that will whisk me on my way from A to B...wherever B is.

Let’s start by saying it’s taken me two months and many miles travelling across Spain to get this car and like all good shopping trips, I went back to the first one I saw.

22:00 23ºC

It all started at Valencia bus station (ed..not the bus again) and for all those that read the thrilling, non-stop, rollercoaster adventures in  in-jerez.blogspot.com, you will be familiar with the tooing and froing from Valencia to Seville by bus.

I booked a back seat again so I could lie across all four. There was really no need to fret as there were only 7 of us on the whole bus. I was able to sprawl out along the back seats with my travel pillow and elasticated eye covers to block out any light. I managed, after about 5 hours, to nod off in between intermittent bus stops to pick up imaginary passengers. I don’t even bother getting up anymore as the stops are really just fag breaks. I felt the bus come to another stop in the middle of nowhere and in my slumber I heard a couple of people get on. Footsteps were approaching the back, but I just continued to pretend to be asleep with my eye patches on. Tap, tap tap on my legs.... Oh for Christ’s sake, there’s loads of space why don’t you sit somewhere else....I thought to myself as I ripped off my eye cover with a scowl on my face.

Why is that bloke holding a fluorescent baton?.....Oh shit , It’s the Guardia Civil!!  The Guardia Civil, for those that don’t know, are the elite police force here in Spain. They answer to no-one. Rather akin to the SS.

"Good evening officer" I said back peddling....

"Papers" he said.

I handed over my passport......

"Let’s have a look in your rucksack" he said

He fished through my knapsack with a torch and his baton. All there was was a half-eaten pate sandwich and a pair of walking socks.

"They are clean..hu hu hu" I torted

He didn’t find it funny.

They left the bus and we carried on. Needless to say I didn’t sleep much after that.

"Then what?"......"Then I ate his paté sandwich of course"

7:00am 19ºC

I arrived in Seville bus station bleary eyed and made my way across town to the train station to catch the train to Dos Hermanas to view the car. Dos Hermanas is a small town en route back to Jerez 20km south of Seville.

I had phoned ahead and told the owner I would be at the station at 9am to view. I had seen it a month ago but we couldn’t agree on the price. He had previously bought it to the train station as I assumed he would do again. I envisaged that I could see it quickly and then just jump on the train and continue onto Jerez and to my flat where my bed was beckoning.

Little did I know I would not be sleeping or back home for quite a while..

9:30am 22ºC

Jose, a short man about 50 years old with a goatee beard, cheeky smile and half-a -dozen teeth located mainly at the back of his gob, arrived 30 minutes late after I had sat outside baking in the sun on a bench. He turned up in another car? For Christ’s sake, I thought, I just wanted a quick in and out viewing and back on the train...

He beckoned me to get in and I duly hopped in and we set off to see the other car, or that’s what I thought.  After 5 minutes driving around town, he slowed the car and pulled up outside a bar.

"Breakfast" he said.

I just sat there for a few seconds contemplating my next move. It was another pivotal moment. I could either say HOLD on a second mate I didn’t come here to f**k about, let’s go and see the car, I’m tired, haven’t had any sleep and I  came to see the car and that’s it, or, it was go with the flow knowing that this is going to take all day.

"Breakfast it is" I said.

9:58am 25ºC

After a breakfast of Jamon and coffee and fresh Orange Juice and introductions to his mates, we finally got back in the car and headed off out of town. It was about 7 minutes outside Dos Hermanas that we turned off onto a dirt track in between houses and allotments. We bumped our way down the trail to the end and pulled up outside a crudely gated lock-up. Oi Oi, I thought, I’ve been done up like a kipper. We are miles in the middle of nowhere and his mates are inside and I’ve got a pocket full of euros....it’s gonna be a stick up.

To my relief there was no-one else there from his gang, and he opened the gate and we wheeled the car out of the dusty, dirty garage. I checked it over and found the left front indicator light wasn’t working...here we go I thought. Up with the bonnet and he fiddled about with the connections and eventually with his heavy handedness he snapped off the contact to the indicator connector.

Brilliant.

"I’m not buying it without that working" I said

"Of course not" he replied

 It was not something that could be mended en site so off we went back into town in his car to find a new
 front right cluster.

Jose's friends didnt see the funny side

10:39am 26ºC

We stopped at the car warehouse, the place for spare parts, and he handed over the part to the attendant who looked at it for a minute and said...

"Hmmmm Front right indicator light cluster”

 Excellent, I thought, he recognises it, I could be out of here soon.

He walked out the back in search of the part. Two minutes later he walks around the corner....empty handed!

NOOOOO..........I thought.

We got back in the car and matey turns to me..

"I know a man with a shop"

A shop? I thought, what the hell does that mean?

After a quick ride around we ended up on a rough housing estate in Dos Hermanas and he pulls up and parks.

No shops here whatsoever....Oh No! It’s going to be a stick up...again....

He got out of the car and went to a barred window!? It was right out of a South Central LA drug dealing window.........whatever that looks like.

He handed the front right light cluster and the little connector he had snapped off through the bars of the ground floor window.

The guys inside took it and after half an hour returned it with a lump of solder and a screw holding it on.

11:15am 27ºC

We got back into the car, with the "mended" front right  light cluster (FRLC) and headed back to his lock up to test it out..........well that’s what I thought.

As we meandered our way back through the labyrinth that is Dos Hermanas (The name actually means Two Sisters and is often referred to, laughingly, as "four tits") he slowed the car and we pulled up outside a bar.

"This is my brother’s bar" he said.......

Oh Christ here we go again…

In we go and order two cold beers. There is a guy at the bar he knows and he introduces him. He is a sculptor who has done all the large metal sculptures on all the roundabouts in the area. They are actually quite impressive both in size and quality as a result he is sort after but can’t be bothered, typical artist.

Alvaro was his name and he sat there with his handlebar moustache, a large litre jug of beer and a plate of Jamon. He already seemed like a nice chap to me....especially when he shoves a piece of Jamon in his mouth then picks up the whole Jug of beer and starts drinking out of it!!!!

We had another 3 beers and two plates of jumbo olives before the sculptor finished his jug of beer and on his way out invited us over to his place for Calimocho!! Calimocho is a mix of red wine and beer.

I knew if we went, that would be it and we still had a lot of work to do. I said NO and told Jose that we would go back and get the car fixed.

12:30pm 30ºC

We jumped back in his car and made our way back to the lock-up.  We flipped the bonnet and set to work re affixing the RFLC. Bugger me it worked!!!. He drew my attention to the fact that the driver’s side lock didn’t work but he had got a replacement. I said well that is going to have to be fixed before we go anywhere.  Unclipping the door panel and fixing the new lock took an hour, but it worked.

13:30 33ºC

FINALLY we were ready to go and do the paper work for the car. I said I would follow him so he jumped in his car and I jumped in mine and as I turned the key, the car wouldn’t start!!!!!!

He got out of his car and walked back to my car I leaned out of the window ..

“It’s run out of Petrol” I said……

Tight bastard I thought.

We get back into his car and headed back to Dos Hermanas to get petrol from the petrol station.  30 minutes later we are back at the lock up filling the car with petrol.

14:00 36ºC

I turned the key and the car started first time…….

We agreed to meet at the bar at the top of the dirt track to sign the relevant documents.it was 2 minutes before we pulled in and went to the bar. We were knackered, hot, thirsty and hungry. As we stood at the bar it was just like the scene from Ice Cold in Alex.

“Dos cervecas por favour” I said as we slouched over the bar unable to talk or stand properly.

Well that first beer didn’t touch the sides nor did the 2nd, 3rd, 4th or 5th ….by the 6th we had calmed down enough to do all the paperwork and order a tapa of meat and chips which was so tasty we had another one.

"Are you sure its the front right light cluster indicator?"

14:02 37ºC

We finished up and he followed me into town were we stopped at another bar before I filled up with petrol. It was a smokers bar…..I didn’t care by now, I had my car, and had handed over the money.

A quick beer and I waved goodbye to my new chum Jose who had introduced me to artists, his family and friends and sold me a great car in an eventful day in Dos Hermanas.

15:00 39.9ºC

I hit the road and headed back to Jerez another 55km south. How good did it feel to be mobile again. I arrived back in Jerez and parked the car and went straight to bed.

Not much done today then I thought as I drifted off into the land of nod.